You know what I hate?

My birthday is a day before Christmas Eve. Yep. I was born on December 23. It's not that bad. I actually like that it's on December because I love the chilly weather. I also love the warm feeling (ironic?) the holidays give me. It also means my birthday is during the winter break. ^_^

But I can be very materialistic during this time of year. But can you blame me? Christmas revolves around presents! And because my birthday is so close to Christmas, I DON'T get double presents. I just get one present for my birthday and Christmas. -sigh- If only my birthday was on another month, I would get presents for my birthday and presents for Christmas. I know, I'm greedy. >.<

But anyways, I can't really complain all that much this year. Because my adorable boyfriend made me the happiest girl on my birthday. No, he didn't give me two different presents. He just gave me one for both days. But he did give me an expensive and BEAUTIFUL heart necklace from Kay Jewelers. It brought the biggest smile on my face as soon as I saw it. But the best part was his card. To be honest, even if he didn't buy me the necklace and just gave me the card, I still would've been the happiest girl. (See, I'm not that materialistic! ^_^) Because he wrote so many sweet things in the card, and I can tell he really meant all of it. <3

You are beatuiful...

Black heels, high-waisted skirt, pink tank top. Nick stood there for what felt like an eternity, just looking in the mirror. Trembling started from his lips, his his fingers, and ended in his toes. Something stirred in him and awakened his soul. It filled him with sadness, fear, joy, and confusion. These pieces of clothing - all belonging to his older sister- were now so much more. They were now a part of him - a part of his skin. The person in the mirror looking back at him was finally the person he always knew he was born to be.

He ran the cherry colored lipstick along his lips and an unexpected tear drop fell from his eye. He softly whispered to himself, "This is me." But he wanted to yell it. He wanted to scream it and be loud enough for the whole word to hear.

But the world wasn't ready for him. So instead, Nick wiped away his tears and laughed. He laughed and laughed and danced to the music blasting inside of him. He danced away his fears. He danced away his sadness. He danced away all his feelings of being different and abnormal. He danced away all the venomous words his classmates attacked him with. But most importantly, he danced away his self loathing.

But then he saw something by the doorway that made him stop in his tracks and cut his laughter short. It was his father just standing there, watching him. His father's eyes filled with anger and shock.

And just like that, Nick's whole world fell apart.

Can somebody pinch me?!

Because I certainly must be dreaming!! 

It's strange to think how just a few weeks ago, I was stressing out about how I couldn't tell if my crush likes me or if he only saw me as a friend. And now, I'm actually going out with him! He asked me out last Tuesday, so now we have been going out for 8 days. Lol. I sound like such a little girl about it, but I just really like him! And I seriously had no idea that he had any feelings towards me at all! -sigh- I was seriously the happiest girl in the world after he asked me to be his girlfriend. I couldn't stop smiling the whole time and I couldn't concentrate in any of my classes. All I could do was replay the whole scenario when he asked me out. >.< Hopefully this relationship lasts though. *crosses fingers*

You make me smile, please stay for a while...

Omg. I can't even express how incredibly amazing I felt last night. -sigh- I still can't even believe that my crush (the one I actually wrote about on my last post) asked me out to go see a movie and have dinner!!! We watched Paranormal Activity 3, but I couldn't really concentrate because all I could think about was him and how I was actually in the movie theaters watching a movie - with HIM. lol. I gotta be honest though, I was pretty scared in some parts of the movie, and I really wanted to just hold on to him like I usually do with my friends while watching a scary movie. BUT, I didn't want to scare him away. What if he got annoyed by that? So I just held on to myself and occasionally covered my eyes. :P So anyways, after the movie we went to this really cute Chinese restaurant just a few blocks away. At first, it was REALLY AWKWARD. I was looking everywhere else but him! Lol. And I could tell he felt awkward too, but thankfully we relaxed a bit and just started talking about random things. Trust me, a stupid little smile was plastered on my face the whole entire time. I don't what it is about him, but he just really makes me bubbly and happy all the time. And then after dinner, we walked to the subway, and he was so sweet. He offered to give me his jacket because he saw how much I was shivering (it was raining and it was freezing!) but I didn't take it because I didn't want him to be cold. :) And so once I finally got home, I just kept replaying and replaying the time we spent together and everything we talked about. -sigh- I am really falling for him. But it's just so confusing, because I still don't know if he thinks of me as more than a friend. Because I'm telling you, MOST of his friends are girls, and he usually hangs out with them after school and they go to movies and stuff, so what if I'm just "one of the girls." And what if I'm nothing more than just a fun girl he likes to hang out with but nothing more? Grrr...why does this have to be so difficult.

I'm falling for you...

There is this guy who is in several of my classes, whose name and face are always on my mind. He has the most beautiful blue-green eyes that I've ever seen and his smile makes me weak in the knees. In two of my classes, he sits far away from me, so we don't really talk. But in Families class, I sit right behind him and he turns around to talk to me a lot. And out of everyone in the whole school, he's the only person I can really be myself with. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, but best of all, he lets me be me. I can really relate to him and we can just talk forever about everything and nothing. And I really think I'm falling for him. But when we're not in Families class, he ignores me. He acts like I'm invisible. He doesn't say "Hi" or even look at me. It's as if he doesn't know me. But once we're back in Families class, he goes right back to being amazing and talking to me like I'm someone he's interested in. -sigh- Idk. He's giving me mixed signals. I mean, I'm not trying to become his girlfriend after a few weeks of knowing him. No. I just want to be his friend - for now. LOL. But can't he at least acknowledge me in the hallways!? Or in my other classes!! Grrr...

Something that makes me smile :D

Coming home to the smell of my favorite home cooked meal. <3

UPDATE!! =D

Wow, I haven't been able to post anything for the past two weeks! So here's a little update. I've been going to school and met some friends. BUT, I still feel like an outsider. The school system is just so different here in Canada and the students here are incredibly different. I don't know, it's just a little hard to fit in. -sigh- But on a good note, I love most of my classes! =D Especially writer's craft where all we do is write and write. But it's fun because it's like a writer's guild where we get in a circle and share our wrting and the whole vibe is just amazing. But yeah, I guess that's all for now. Hopefully my next post will be longer and much more positive. ^_^ And hopefully I'll find my niche by then. *crossing my figers*

Hi. My name is "New Girl"

Today, I went to enroll at my new high school, and I was overwhelmed by all the students that were there to get their new class schedules. I couldn't help but look at how they all joked around with their friends, which made me nervous. What if nobody cares to make friends with the "new girl" ((aka ME)). After all, they've had years to make friends with one another and they're already content with their circle of friends, so why would they feel the need to go out of their way to befriend me? -sigh- Just the thought of me being friendless is enough to make me sick to my stomach especially since it's my senior year, which is supposed to be the happiest time of my high school life! Hopefully I'm just overreacting - like always - and hopefully everything will work out fine when I start school next week. HOPEFULLY!!! >.<

Life's a Beach :P

About a month ago, my nephew (who is barely a year old) went to the beach for the very first time. Unfortunately I wasn't there to experience it with him since I'm in Canada and all, but luckily my sister took pictures! Although pictures are not quite the same as actually being there, it still makes me feel a little bit better. So anyways, I just wanted to share the pics with you guys, because I absolutely LOVE them. ^_^

I wish my lawn was emo so it could cut itself...

It's kind've embarrassing to admit, but back in the summer after 5th grade, and well into 6th and some of 7th grade, I had the biggest emo phase. I indulged in rock songs every second of every day and had posters of my favorite bands plastered all over my walls. My Chemical Romance was and still is my favorite band. I had their picture all over my binders and folders and my backpack. I even begged my sister to buy me all their T-shirts from Hot Topic for Christmas, even though the only shirts they had were for guys. I was just a complete and utter obsessed fool. I wore nothing but black and I got myself the typical emo haircut: side bangs (that practically covered my whole left eye) and layers - don't forget the layers. It was a dramatic change from my usual hair in a pony tail look that I had all throughout elementary school. I even thought about havig purple highlights, but my parents refused to let me have any. Lol. Perhaps the funniest part is that I actually longed to be the lead singer of my own rock band. I've always loved to sing, and the thought of being the lead singer of a glamorous rock bad for a living made the most perfect sense. It's been about 4 years since then, and I no longer enjoy wearing all black every day, nor do I long to have purple highlights in my hair. But I never did outgrow my dreams of someday becoming a rock star. But I'm old enough to know that the possibility of that happening is very slim. But hey, a girl can dream right? =P But till then, I'll just have to carry on with my plans of being a doctor. -sigh-

Oh and Baiba! Thanks for wondering about me! You're so sweet! <3 My internet was down. I was so lost without it, but finally it's up and running ^_^.

Oh, it is love

I could hear hundreds or quite possibly thousands of feet scuffling all around us, but all I saw were his big brown eyes that made the butterflies in my stomach dance. We stood together in silence, both of us too afraid to utter a single word. Neither of us daring to take the risk because one sound, one syllable, one word might steal the moment away. The loud rustling of the leaves above us indicated that the wind was violently passing through, but all I felt was the warmth of his embrace that made me feel complete. It was a feeling I had longed and searched for, and finally I found it in his arms. The corners of his mouth rose, forming a smile. I wanted to run my finger across it. I wanted to trace every line and every curve of his lips. But before I knew it, he was leaning in for a kiss. And as our lips met, every fiber of my being knew that this was love. And as I opened my eyes, I realized it was just a dream.

Cherry Binge!

Around 4 days ago, my mom and her friend went cherry picking. A bus picked them and many others up in front of a random church and off they went in their merry way to a farm. After a few hours, my mom came back with a big box full of cherries. It's all I ate for the past few days. It's very addicting! And every bite reminded me of my best friend Alexa back in California who is absolutely in love with cherries. One time in English class, I just saw her randomly snacking on some cherries hidden in the front pocket of her backpack (we sat next to each other) and when she offered me some, I couldn't refuse. So the whole time in class we just ate cherries and ignored whatever our very annoying teacher was lecturing about. Lol. Good times. <3

Whenever I want you, all I have to do is dream...

Canada is so different from California. Everything about it is different - the taste of the water, the attitude of the people, the look of the streets, and just the whole lifestyle. I'm not sure how I'll ever get used to it. The first four days I arrived, I cried and cried until there were no tears left in me. Before I left for Canada, I didn't shed a single tear about moving because it still did not feel like I was leaving. But the minute I left the airport and set my feet on the Canadian street was when it officially hit me that I was no longer in California and I no longer knew when I would see my sister and Dad. The first four days and nights were the absolute hardest to deal with. Nights were and still are absolutely unbearable because that's when I am all alone in dark, with nothing to think about but my sister, my dad, and my best friends who I may not see again until a few years later. For days I cried myself to sleep and I regret not taking advantage of the time when we were together. Mornings are just as brutal. Mostly because every night, for all the 10 days that I've been here, I have been dreaming about everyone back home. And when I wake up, I feel sadness overcome me once I realize I'm in Canada and not in California. But my dreams are both blessings and curses. A curse simply because it makes me feel worse once I wake up. However, it is also a blessing because I am at my happiest when I am asleep and dreaming. Because even for just a little while, I am back in California with all my friends and my family. It feels so real that I never want to wake up. It's so crazy how homesick  I am. I miss everything about California. But most of all I miss the little things like the tree outside my window, the sofa in the living room, and even my loud and obnoxious neighbors that used to annoy me so much. -sigh- I just wanna go home. I now understand how Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob Squarepants felt when she sang about how she misses Texas. If you're not familiar with it, well today's your lucky day because I put the video for it. (:

I'm MOVING !! :(

I've known for about a month now that I have to leave my home in sunny Los Angeles, California due to personal family issues, but it didn't really hit me until today. Because as of today, I only have one day left until I'm off to Canada where my mom lives. This whole week has been crazy. I've been running around, desperately trying to fit everyone into my schedule, hoping to spend as much time with them as possible before I leave. I am very much depressed about the whole situation. I am going to be leaving the home that I've lived in for basically all of my life. To make matters worse, my dad will be all alone in the house because he won't be coming with me to Canada, which saddens me. I love my dad and I can't imagine not living with him. My older sister is also not coming but she lives in another house with her husband and baby, which is another reason why I'm so very depressed. My sister is my best friend and I can't believe I won't be able to hang out with her anymore and I won't be able to see my nephew grow up. Not to mention, I'm leaving just before my senior year and I won't be able to see my closest friends, some of whom I have known since elementary school. Of course there is always Facebook, but it's just not the same. And I won't even be able to graduate with them!! :( But despite all of this, still I shed no tears. While my best friend literally cries every time the topic of me leaving comes up, my eyes don't even water. I know I'm sad, but why am I not sad enough to be able to cry? It makes me feel so heartless. Or maybe I am more terrified than sad. After all, this is the first time I ever move away, let alone move away to a different country! What if I make no friends? What if I freeze to death? I'm so used to LA's hot weather, which can be all the way up to 110 degrees in the summer and sometimes even in the winter. But I hear winters in Canada are brutal. How am I going to survive that?!? What's worse is that I have to live with my mom, who I do not get along with at all. Most of my life, I never really lived with her, but whenever she came to visit, we would always get in fights. -sigh- I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll just have to take it day by day and hope for the best. Well, tomorrow's my flight. Wish me luck you guys!! :(

1st birthday !!

So my absolutely adorable nephew had his very first birthday during this Memorial Day weekend. I know, that was quite a while ago. Lol. But I haven't had time to post until now. ^_^ But it was so adorable because just a week before his big day, he finally learned to walk! It was perfect because it was just in time for his birthday. Before we would always try to make him walk, but he would be too lazy and just stick to crawling or he would just cry until we stopped making him walk. But then one day he just walked from the living room all the way to kitchen and he's been a walking machine ever since then. It's pretty cute actually because he can go all day long just walking all around the living room. Anyways, back to the birthday party. There were a lot of people there, mostly my sister's and my brother-in-law's friends who had little kids. My nephew was pretty overwhelmed with everyone there because he's in the "stranger anxiety" stage. But overall it was fun. We had games for the older kids (6 or 7 year olds). We let them hit the pinata and had them play musical chairs (my favorite game =P). 

This is a picture of me nephew eating his cake.

 

This is a picture of us as one big whole happy family <3.

Just a little Teacher Crush

It's true. I have a crush on my history teacher. But before you judge me, just hear me out. My teacher is not your typical chubby and bald teacher who looks to be a child molester. Oh no sir. My history teacher is absolutely far from it! This man is tall, tan, and HANDSOME. I am not exaggerating when I say that every girl in my class is head over heels for him. Apparently we are not the only ones. The girls who had him last year and the girls who had him 2 years ago and 3 years ago and so on and so on, were also under his love spell. But get this. He is 51 years old. Yes 51! Now, you may be thinking that we are all a bunch of sick little high school girls who are obsessed with old men. But trust me, on my first day in his class, I honestly thought he was barely in his thirties. When he eventually did reveal his age to us, everyone was in disbelief. That's just how young he truly looks! And not to mention, he gets more and more gorgeous with each passing day. He simply ages like wine. But the best part about him is his personality. He is just so funny and so animated. You can always find him cracking jokes and jumping from one side of the room to the other. I can go on and on about my little teacher crush, but you probably wouldn't read on. So I'll end it with a simple question. Do you have an odd crush on someone?

Finals Week!!

Final exams are the bane of my existence. I loathe, despise, abhor, and absolutely hate them. Why, you may ask? Simply because studying makes my brain hurt. For final exams, I have to study and memorize so much, that by the end of the day I'm so exhausted that I feel like I just ran a marathon! I hope I can survive this week, because after that SCHOOL'S OUT!!! :)

WTF?! Pregnant?!?!

So all throughout elementary school and one year of middle school, I had a group of friends made up of 6 girls, including me. And guess what? Four of them are pregnant. Well actually, scratch that. Three of them was pregnant sometime last year and already gave birth. But just this morning I discovered that another one of them is just a few months pregnant. I haven't really seen or talked to any of them since we went our separate ways after 6th grade, but I really did care for them then, and I honestly believed they would be successful in life. All of us were always in gifted classes in elementary school and honor classes in middle school and all the teachers bragged about how smart we were. Now the thought of them with babies at the age of 16 or 17 is mind-bottling, stupefying, unbelievable, and just plain WEIRD. All I can think is "how stupid can they be?!" While I'm here busting my butt in school in order to go to college, there they are getting impregnated by some immature teenage boy. Perhaps what bothers me the most is the fact that their friends think it's the best thing that could ever happen, as if the belly bump is the hottest accessory or something. I was on facebook and my friend posted she was 3 months pregnant and so many people pressed the 'like' button. Wow. Really? An impregnated teenage girl is something to like? Maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe it's not entirely their fault. After all, the media seems to love glamorizing sex and pregnancy. For example, ABC Family, a channel meant for 'FAMILIES' to watch, have a show called "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." This show literally is solely based on sex, sex, and more sex. And basically everyone in the show is pregnant and they're all in HIGH SCHOOL. MTV also loves to glamorize sex. Just take a look at their shows: 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, and Skins. What is this world coming to???

I'm ADDICTED!!

It's official. I have an addiction. To what you may ask? Nope, not drugs or alcohol, or even shoes. I am addicted to the ever so tasty chocolate. But not just your average chocolate bar. No sir. I am addicted to Hershey's Symphony Chocolate, and it kicks every other chocolate bar's butt. It's so decadent and silky-smooth and it's impossible for me to put down! To be honest, I could probably just sit at home and eat this chocolate all day. Each bite is a little piece of heaven in my mouth. You all should really try it! :) Now please, do tell me your obsession. =P

Singing is my drug...

Singing feeds my lonely soul. It comforts me in the silence of the night, and it expresses the words that my heart is dying to tell. Singing has been my passion ever since I was around 5 or 6 years old. I would sing every song I knew and loved. Ironically enough, I don't like singing in front of my family. I don't exactly know why, but whenever they catch me singing I feel completely and utterly embarrassed almost as if they just caught me naked with a guy. I also don't like singing in front of my friends. Actually, scratch that. I LOVE singing with my friends, but  I don't sing seriously. It's more like screaming/singing at the top of my lungs and singing in a silly way. I don't know why I can't sing in front of my friends and family. Perhaps it is because I am at my most vulnerable when I am singing. It is when I pour my heart and soul, and it will only take one word of criticism to shatter me into pieces. So tell me, what is your passion?

A day to remember...

This is one moment I will always look back on and laugh. It was a beautiful Saturday morning - bright, sunny, and full of life. My friends Alexa, Christy, Bobby, John, and I were coming from a school event and were on our way to Alexa's house. Bobby's dad picked us up in his very small and old sports car that was only meant to fit 2 people on the backseat. So it was very comical how all four of us were cramped and practically on top of each other on the backseat while Alexa sat on the passenger's seat. Needless to say, we were very uncomfortable, but fortunately John plugged his ipod to the car's radio and played one of Taylor Swift's songs. We turned the volume to the maximum level and we sang our hearts out. We sang word for word at the top of our lungs with all our windows down and we flailed our arms every which way. Bobby's dad is also a very careless driver, and after seeing us all hyped up, he decided to add to our excitement by speeding like a maniac, causing many people to honk at us. So there we were, disrupting the peaceful streets of Los Angeles with our horrible singing and our silly laughter. It was especially funny when there was a red light and people around us kept staring at us because we were just the oddest group of people. For one thing, we were all cramped in a small beat-up car with music on full blast, and to top it all off, we were singing to Taylor Swift's silly love songs. Lol.

I absolutely love having fun memories like these with my friends. How about you guys? What are some of your fun memories?

OH MY GOD!!!!

Wow! So 2 weeks ago, this blog was deleted. Blogspot emailed me and said my blog was deleted and didn't allow me to sign in for 2 whole weeks. I was so pissed! But today I decided to try it out again, and what do you know, blogspot put it back in session. I am so happy!!! <3

When friends become strangers...

In my life, I have had the most amazing people that I was lucky enough to call my best friends, while some don't even have one. Unfortunately, life happens and my friends came and went, time and time again. It's not easy to find that special someone, whom you can really connect with in a deep level. A person whom you can share all your secrets with and laugh all night with. A person whom you can somehow communicate with, without saying a single word. A person whom you know, without a doubt, is fated to be your friend. But I was lucky enough to have found five in my whole lifetime (which is relatively short of course, seeing as though I'm only 17). But every time I found one, sooner or later they were gone. Either they moved away, went to a different school, or we just had nothing left in common.

It's so heartbreaking to lose a friend. And it's so mind bottling how at one point we're soul mates, and then all of sudden we see each other in the halls and can't even mutter a simple "hello." For instance, I had a best friend all throughout elementary school and the summer just before 6th grade. But when 6th grade came along, we just stopped talking. Neither of us knows how, but it just happened and whenever we see each other, we can't even look at each other in the eyes and just ignore each other.

And next year I'm going to be a senior, and before long, I'm going to be graduating. And I worry because right now, I have an amazing friend, but I know we are going to go our separate ways eventually. And I don't want her to be just another person I lost in touch with and can no longer hold a simple conversation with. Does anyone else understand what I'm going through?

The best book ever written !!

Forget about every book you thought you ever liked, because after reading Hunger Games you won't care to think about any other book! When I first read it, I could not stop. I turned page after page until I realized it was already midnight and I was still reading! I had school the next day so I had to go to bed, but I didn't want to put the book down. It's got action, romance, suspense, and everything else you've always wanted in a book. Girls, boys, moms, and even dads all enjoy this book. My 45 year old math teacher also loves the book, so much so that he read all three books in the trilogy. If you haven't read it, here's a little scoop on what it's about:

Katniss Everdeen is the main character (trust me, she's so much better than Bella from Twilight). She's only a teenager, but she's a tough and talented hunter who puts food on her family's table. Her father is dead and she lives with her mother and sister Prim in District 12 in the country of Panem. Every year the Capitol of Panem hosts an event called the Hunger Games where two "tributes" – a boy and a girl – are drafted from each of the twelve districts to be brought to an arena and fight to the death. Only one person can win. This is to remind the country not to rebel – and for entertainment, of course. This year, unfortunately, Katniss's little sister is selected for the Hunger Games, so Katniss volunteers to take her place. Her experience in the Hunger Games is something you do not want to miss. So please go read it - NOW! You can thank me later <3

By the way, the movie is coming next year! I can't wait!!